Listen, I don't like you... and you don't like me. There was a time when I was a little envious of your kind. The fact that you fuckers can roll around in the mud and have a blast offends me. I get rolled onto my back once and SHIT IS OVER... you will find my last Will and Testament located inside that bush by the shed. That's my broker's house, Henry. He's a pretty cool guy.
Anyway, the last few weeks have been amazing. Beautiful weather, turtles in bikinis... amazing. Then Babe comes along and sneezes on some fucking kid and now we're all going to have tan-lines of this bullshit all summer:
Really, sir? A thumbs up?? You pretentious fuck... I will stab you.
Moving on, you pigs really think launching a bullshit illness on the earth is the only way to get attention??? NO, IT'S NOT! You bitch and moan about being eaten until some ridiculously intelligent spider named Charlotte writes some shit in her web about you being "radiant" and then they take your fat ass to the fair for a glorious parade. It's that easy!!! No need for everyone to have a 104 temperature! Why you gotta give us the sniffles, pig?!
I grew up in Detriot, pig...and you don't scare me a bit. This Swine Flu is the least scary shit ever... totally over-rated. Even the monkey from OutBreak was all like:
It's been done! And better! That monkey made people bleed out of their eyeballs. Yeah, it was only a movie, but if you're going to do something FUCKIN DO IT RIGHT!
Why don't you just go to rehab or flash your vag getting out of a car like all the celebrities do when they want attention? Damn.
You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, Wilbur, you DICK.
thanks,
*angry turtle*
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